Perfection is accepting your imperfection

Society craves perfection, the perfect hair, the perfect body, the perfect teeth, the perfect life of happiness.

By why the obsession?
Nobody and nothing is perfect, that is one thing we can be sure about!
So why attempt to 'cure' it? which effectively is what we are trying to do

Beauty products for the best skin, hair, teeth.
Creams and Spanks for the perfect figure.

Let's just face it, it only makes us feel more imperfect and inadequate and encourages bad body and self-image.

As previously discussed, 20 years of living in a city where image is seen as the all important, I have learned that the only way to be perfect is to accept our imperfections.

Imperfection is perfection

I am impatient, I worry about little things, I crave love and affection

but don't we all??

We don't need to reject or try to fix our 'faults', we need to love and appreciate them in ourselves and in those around us, as they are what makes us, US!

Hair dilemma

Emma is having a dilemma....

A hair dilemma!

So for the first time in possibly 2 and a half years, my hair is shoulder length, well touching my shoulders, and I cannot cope!

What does one do with such length of hair, it just sits there and stares at me and I lack any form of inspiration on the matter!

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

YES YES

“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.”

- Audrey Hepburn

The wonder of Gaga

Yes, I'm talking about the marvellous and wonderful Lady Gaga..
a fan, me? OF COURSE!

This year has definately been the year of Gaga, no matter who you are, whatever taste in music you have, you cannot have missed her presence or rather, her explosion into the fashion/music world.

Even if her music is not exactly to your taste, nobody can deny her absolute brillance.
She is controversial, she is a bit cookoo, but she has brought back true extravagance and personality to the music industry.

The 80s had Madonna, and now we have Lady Gaga, a true icon.

But WHY?
- she is herself and does not give two hoots about whether she is loved or hated for that.

This is exactly why she has such a huge following, especially from the gay community.
She is expressive of who she is and what she stands for, and for me, that is an Icon.
She is a person who can shine the torch for many people who are scared to be their true selves.

Perhaps, the infamous 'Meat Dress' didn't go down too well or please many vegetarians, but it certainly continued the Gaga spirit.

Clever or controversial, she definately knows how to shock the media and the general public.

I salute you Lady Gaga, long live your spirit, your controversy and your Iconic presence!

We all love a good love story

I have a mutual Peruvian friend who Ive been speaking to lately, getting a locals guide and info for my trip :)...

Anyway, he was telling me about him and his girlfriend, and this is how i learnt about this beautiful little love story...


He is Peruvian and currently living in South America and She is Irish and has returned back to Ireland, but as if distance will put a stop in their romantic tracks, as theyre hoping to move to London where they can be together, even though it's going to be so tough for him to get a working permit......n'awwww!

Just LOVELY.

Big eyebrows and Fur coats

This would be the image of Liverpool city centre during my attempts at Christmas shopping last week.

Liverpool has previously been labelled a city with the best dressed women.
However, what I have found, after my 20 years of experience in the city, is that, YES, scousers do love fashion and love taking care of their appearance. But, unfortunately, this is always taken to the extreme.

Take any recent fashion 'trend' and there is no doubt, that it integrated and flew off the rails in Liverpool.

Back to the title of this blog ; Big eyebrows and fur coats...

Big eyebrows....
Gone are the days of the 'skinny/barely existent' eyebrows of the nineties and early naughties, because 2010 has been all about the shaped dark EYEBROWS.
Again, and unfortunately, this has been taken to the extremity in Liverpool.
The definition of an eyebrow, or rather its purpose, is to shape the face and enhance the beauty of the eye (ok this is beautician speak, as I know well that scientifically they catch 'dust' and protect the eyes)
I do admit, as a natural blonde sporting brunette locks, i need to use an eyebrow pencil as part of my makeup routine. But, at least my eyebrow pencil matches my skin tone and hair colour.
This is something that has not yet been mastered by a majority of scouse girls, particulary the bleach blondes....who seem to love the block black eyebrow look....eek!

And Fur.... always a controversial topic, but finding good/ very real looking faux fur is relatively easy nowadays, no need for the 'painted' look...
But PLEASE, if you are going to buy fur, be it real or faux..... at least buy one that looks NICE, not this commonly loved tatty/'needs a good brush through it' rank looking fur!


Fashion faux pas, they are inevitable, its all about fashion experimentation. But if you are just following a crowd fashion faux pas....shame on you!

Christmas, always a time for reflection......this time, on the magic of Paris

It is no lie, it is no secret, that over the past 5 months I have found my home, my love in the magical city of Paris.
Call it cliché, or call it inevitable.

Instead of clogging my blog (which i have unfortunately neglected) of all my adventures, i would rather give a little overview of my time in Paris.

Paris has blessed me with friends who i have shared so many good times with.

Be it, sharing stories of creepy French guys, eating fondu accompanied with red wine in baby bottles, enjoying crepes and cocktails, discovering incredible restaurants with old ladies singing Edith Piaf and of course, discussing our new favorite sport "meccing" (Meccing : when one goes on dates/pulls or has any form of more-than-friendly intreaction with "Mecs" ("mec" being the french word for guys)

There is too many adventures and memories to mention, which I am most likely to reminise about in months to come, but for now, all I know is that my love affair with Paris has been the best I could have ever imagined and that our love will only grow stronger in the future.

The greatest and most important lesson that I have learnt is to make the most of whatever is thrown at you and take every opportunity you can to just live a little.
If you want something enough, you can do it. I wanted Paris and i got her and will never have any regrets!

To all those I have spent my last 5 months with,

Thank you for how special and amazing you have helped to make it

My love to you forever

Emma (now with a slice of Parisian)

BONJOUR

Yes yes the abandonment of blogging will now be recified !
So here I am, in PARIS finally!!

So this first blog will more be a just...Quoi de neuf..."whats new?"

So its been what 10 weeks tomorrow that i arrived in this fantastic place and Im absoultely loving it!
Some important things ive learned
1) finding any form of accomodation is paris is an absolute nightmare!
2) the french have long working days and crazily long dinner hours
3) never make uncomfortable eye contact with unknown people on the metro in order to avoid weirdos and snotty looks

So life has just been fabulous, ive met so many people , english and french and seen and done so much. Today is the first day ive chilled and not done anything since ive arrived! But how can you keep still and not do anything in a city like this, i just want to do and see everything! the thought of having to leave in 2 and a half months is just a horrid thought! blah england is crap!

I just love that im learning and living so much, im just so happy!
Ive even had visitors over, my friend, my parents, my love! Just perfect!
I do miss everyone back home and wish they could be here with me but im just making the most of the time i have here whilst i can!

What I love about Paris is just everyone is up for everything. What I love is that everyone makes the most out of their weekends because they are so busy during the week. So i just love that atmosphere :)
Paris is very very special! yes in the posh areas people will give you a snarl but i dont feel judged at all i feel more free and conifdent.
Coming from a city like Liverpool which is full of posers and wannabess and wags, its nice to go on a night out and see tangoed blondes everywhere and chavs. Ah the feeling of being free from chavs is brilliant.
The confidence of french people is seen as a good and bad thing.
Being sure of yourself and being confident is good but there is a thin line to arrogance.
But i kind of idolise people who can be so confident of themselves even if they are a bit of a prententious prick.

The love for Paris every day....
Can i stay forever?

Times A-changing

So the time is looming, I'm one week away from possibly the biggest adventure/stepping stone in my life and I've never been so nervous/scared/anxious but also so excited!
Moving to Paris hopefully will make me as a person and I hope to get so much out of it, fluency in French (please!) and a lot of Parisian adventures.
I know quite a few of my friends and family want to come and visit which will make the whole homesick situations alot easier, 5 months non-stop away from home isn't going to be the easiest thing to do. But its Paris, its my dream , fingers crossed that my internship will be good, interesting and help me gain a few french pals!
But I won't be all alone, my french friend lives in Paris and I'm sure she'll be a total assest, I've gotta open a bank account and sign flat contracts for god's sake, I'll need a guide!
I have no specific expectations really, only for it to be a good experience, I know I'll get homesick, have highs and lows, miss people greatly and meet new people.
I never like to have expectations but just to take it how it comes, then I can never be disappointed :)
Ive even bought books to teach myself about web marketing for my job so I best get cracking....

I wrote a letter to you
But could not tear it from my heart
I longed for the words to reach your ears
Yet could not part
From a love letter giving my soul to you

One day we will be lying together in a field of flowers
Or perhaps living seperate lives
But one thing is for certain
You have blessed my life

Will you read this or will you not
Does it even matter
For fate will decide
If me and you will ever remain at each others sides

Decisions decisions

So it's coming to the end of my second year at uni, it's gone so fast! So basically this time in two years i'll be graduating....holy crap!!!
this means i actually have to decide what i want to do with my life uh oh....
so ive always had two dreams really; ive always wanted to spent time abroad especially in Paris and New York.
Thankfully, my Paris dream will be coming true in a mere 2 months time.
But it makes me think, what do i actually want to do after uni?
I know ill want to go into teaching at some point, but maybe not straight after uni, i think 18 years in education will have been enough by that time, so i'll probably want a break.
So is it travelling or a job or them mixed in together.
All i really know is that I want to continue doing French and Spanish in some form of actually worthwhile job.
I know this may sound cheesy but I do want to make a difference, I don't want to be working for some capitalist corporation as hard as that seems. But I want to feel like i am doing something to make that difference, and to come home thinking thats what i've acheived.
Yes its going to be hard to make that decision but its probably harder to make it happen.
However, aren't the best things the hardest to get.
Guess i'm just going to have to put up the fight.

Lack of sleep makes me ponder

What stops us from saying the most important things we want to say?
Saying how we feel.

I think personally, it's fear.
Fear that you might just open up your heart and feelings to somebody and never be able to get them back. After all, once it's done, it's done. You can't take back those words or that moment.
Fear of rejection? That you may say something that isn't mutual or worse, they don't feel the same at all.

For me it's the fear of opening up. There is so many people these days who want to tell the world everything they feel, Facebook is the worst culprit, especially with the Wall-to-Wall's of soppy couples and the inevitable "love you xxxxxxxxxxxx" "love you moreeee <3 xxxxxxxx"
I'm not saying this in a bitter or cold-hearted witchy way, love is a beautiful thing and yes it's something to be celebrated. however, sometimes these big gestures make me weary, do they really mean it, is it to prove to somebody/ some people that they are happy or have some who loves them or is it societal pressure that we have to tell all our secrets and feelings. But do we?
Secrets are secrets, the love between two people doesn't have to be the knowledge of anybody else does it?

Maybe its my starsign Gemini that forces me into two minds; i want to be open but also want private. Or perhaps that my mum's genes in me. It seems as if shyness is some form of social abnormality, we all must be confident and outspoken, but shoudn't we just accept different personality traits.

I've opened up in the past, some for the best, some for the worst. But I read a good quote today but the one and only Dolly Parton, 'if you want a rainbow, you've gotta take the rain'.
You kiss a few frogs before you get your Prince as the story goes.

This goes back to my pondering, maybe I've met my Prince, maybe I don't want to admit that to myself because then my heart is on my sleeve and then it's all in their hands.....
Eek!

I should be writing an essay...

However, it's election day, the day I waited for, for so long, to break my voting virginity.
Popped at 5.30pm to be exact.

Not the most accurate of sources, but facebook has proved that basically aLOT of people have voted today, I think the count of facebook users was just up to over 1.7 million!
It always saddens me when people put the 'I can't be assed voting, they're all shit' card.
I understand some people are totally unaware of party policies etc, but I think its important for people to educate themselves on politics, not to be some crazy activist but to be 'in-the-know', after all it is our country and our vote does count. As Tesco says 'every little helps' whether its tactical voting or voting for your interests, it's important to take a stance. How can you complain about 'this country's so shit' if you don't particpate and be pro-active and just do something about it, that's the beauty of democracy.
Ignorance is certainly not bliss when it comes to politics, after all, its not hard to imagine the harm that parties such as the BNP, UKIP and The Conservatives can cause on the ordinary person.
The Conservatives seen as a right-centre party fucked this country up during Thatcher's stint. Seriously though, people blame Labour for the recession, when looking back, who privatised our industry, the conservatives! These people represent the top-earners, the top 5% richest people in the country i think the figure is, yet they want to control a country with a majority of working-class people, many unemployed and living in basically shit areas with shit lives, so why would the conservatives really give one when it's not affecting them?
I'm not trying to impose my political affiliations on anybody, but as Clegg says, fairness is what is needed.
I've mentioned in a previous blog, at university the working-class are certainly a minority in red bricks.
My point is, why should we accept that, why should anybody be living a life with lack of opportunities and drive to better themselves. The answer is in politics, it runs our lives, it's inescapable.
That's why I'm proud of every person who stepped out to vote today, whatever party they support, because we have a democracy, something we should be proud to live in as despite living in the 21st century, it is not a worldwide phenomena. People fought and died for us, we should make them proud and do their efforts justice.
Viva Emmeline Pankhurst and the Suffragettes!! <3

Boys boys boys

Let's face it, we've all got one certain weakness for those we find attractive.
I think mine is definately tattoos without a doubt.
I don't know why a boy with tattoos makes me so weak.
Is it the artyness within them? Or the fact they don't care to express themselves on their bodies.
Maybe its a bit of both....

I'm not talking the posey type, the people you know try to be soooo cool and have tattoos etc and have the whole indie look going on, but really just for the 'scene'
I'm talkin about the beautiful, kinda shy ones with beautiful body art that just make your mouth drop.

I also have a thing for glasses too, perhaps thats due to my loves of intelligence and glasses signify intelligence i guess.

Nevertheless, I always stand by the rule that personality is more greater, more attractive and more beautiful than any Calvin Klein model. FACT.

Phewww

So today I got a bit of a kick in the teeth or maybe rather a reality check when i encountered my very first conversation with a spanish girl, well other than my tutors, and it was scary as shit!
I felt like I was going to a job interview!

After what ended up being a 1 hour n 45 minute conversation, I came home feeling slightly relieved, excited and anxious all at the same time. Relieved that my first proper spanish meeting went ok, excited for the prospect of goin to Peru for 4 months and anxious as I clearly need to get my ass in gear to practice more!

The main importance with language learning is confidence without a shadow of a doubt. Think about it, speaking with people you don't know isn't the most comfortable experience, then throw in a foreign language to speak in, which probably multiplies that feeling by 1000.

After all though, it's like anything you do, practice makes perfect! You just need to be more sure of yourself and that you can actually do it. At least next time won't be so nerve racking.

So maybe the next time fear kicks in, I just need to tell myself I can do it.
Your friends and family may have faith in you, but its only when you realise it, can you actually believe in yourself.

Feeling all sentimental

That's right, i'm having a cushy moment, god knows why, maybe the tiredness or the tea?

But i've just been pondering on shit, not literally, but you know life.
Me and my mate were talkin today at how lucky we are, not in a 'thank the holy jesus' kind of way, i mean in terms of who we could be/have and other people.
When i came to uni, ive gotta say one of my first reactions was 'fuck there is loads of posh people' and im no 'posh person'. The most craziest thing was finding out where they were all from, i mean some from the middle of fucking nowhere (i'm not talkin farms: one of my best mates is a farmers daughter, but she aint no weird ruraler), im talking about their connection with ACTUAL REAL LIFE.
these 'posh kids' come from god knows where, have had thousands upon thousands spent on their education for what? to be at exactly the same place as me.
A girl from a working class family who went to an 'ok' state school in one of the roughest areas of liverpool. im definately not tryin to hear the violins, im just stating fact.
Because really I never noticed the rich/poor divide until i came to uni. its just so unfair but lets not get me started on private schooling (fuckin hypocrisy...)

Back to what I was initially saying anyway....
its amazing how your background can affect your future but maybe more how you can use it to your advantage. I know a few people at uni from similar backgrounds to me and we all agree how much we had to work our asses off to get where we are today.
But, my point is, without sound pretentious, it only takes one moment of saying to yourself
'IM GOING TO FUCKIN' DO IT' and prove people wrong. I strongly believe in suprising people who don't think you can or you will do it.
Nothing is an excuse....money, ability, lack of support. you can do anything you want if you think you can. That's the beauty of life.

For example, we were discussing teenage pregnancy.
the usual reaction is 'omg teenager...pregnant? oh your lifes over...you will never have fun with your mates again... BLAH BLAH
WRONGGGGG!
For one, my mate has an absolutely beautful one year old daughter and shes an amazing mother! She is 19, in education, got a job. But it doesnt work like that right???

Some girl at uni got pregnant last year and this lead to my mate telling me about his sisters friend who got pregnant at 19 when she was at uni. She stayed with the dad, went to uni to do a foundation then got into a london fashion uni and her daughter is now 3 or 4 so by the time she has finished uni her daughter will be school-age. So who said life has to be put on hold.
It not always the 'lets get a council house and live on the dole and be a family' stereotype, but ye that does happen.

After all that blab i just hope its a tiny bit of inspiration to believe in yourself and be the person you want to be. Nobody has an idea of what youre capable of except YOU.

Weird dreams...

So another thing which has been on my mind, literally, is my unusual dreams

So sunday's entailed me gettin the job in paris (this was the day before i found out) and given an audi, a really snazzy one but i cant drive so i was gutted and they told me that i was to commute to paris every day...WEIRD

Last night, involved a house party in my house back in liverpool in which all my exes were there, very weird! And one tried it on with me. Ok it doesnt sound that weird but I woke up really pissed off as if it had really happened, bizarre!

Its always a weird occasion when they actually feel so real, i wonder why? The majority of the time you dont want them to be. Hmmmmm.....

RESULT

Soooo... after all the palavar with the numerous interviews with the french company
I GOT IT :D i think i got a bit over-excited on the phone! and forgot to speak when she told me i was goin to be paid...thank the lord!!! its goin to be expensive living in Paris of all places but its going to be so worth it, i cant wait for visitors :D but its all a thing of getting everythin sorted now, paperwork etc, so lets hope that goes smoothly!! eeeeeeek im soo feckin excited :) :)

on another positive result, got my january uni exam results and i didnt fail as miserably as i believed...goood times!!!
I wish i could exams rather than essays, as weird as that sounds but coursework certainly isnt my strength at all.
Overall i got two high 2:2s, low 2:2 and two 2:1, pretty pleased seeing as i was expecting the worse!! so tomorrow night is defo goin to be a double-celebratory night :D

things are looking up!

ooops i'm ill

It's always the way, you get ill when you least need it
Ok, maybe its encouraged by the fact I havent stopped since about 2 weeks ago seeing as Ive been to-ing and fro-ing between Liverpool and Sheffield the past two weekends
So not only I am knakered even after my epic sleep, I'm ill, let's call it infected by man flu! haha

Well i'm hoping that the two litres of OJ ive just purchased may help me!
I cant wait til friday to rest and do fuck all, what i deserve i think!

But its goin to be an emotional one tomorrow, my sister is leaving for oz for a year!
it hasn't really sunk in to be honest yet, but i bet it will yesterday, so no doubt ill be the crazo on the train with panda eyes, joys!
honestly though, i couldnt be happier for her, its just what she needs! to get away and live the dream i guess!

well well i bet take another dose of beechams finest medicines!
goodbye for now!

Inpromptu telephone interviews

So the story so far....As part of my course i've got my year abroad starting in september.
My nazi university tries to force every student to spend their time at university in France and in my case France and Spain. So not only is there this big pressure but also lack of information on doing anything else or even how to go about it.
The thing is, that by going to uni you're bound to just stick around with international students and not speak to as much french people, the whole point if being there.
so anyway, i decided to work in France, well Paris, and to go to Peru in South America for my spanish part. (i do french and spanish)

But now its the french work placement i'm worrying about.
I emailed god knows how many companys to which i did receive a lot of polite 'sorry we can't help' replies. But one company offered me a phone interview, YES IN FRENCH= SCARYYYY! but it went ok, it was with a marketing company in Paris. Then to my suprise they offered me an interview in London. I went to it (in peak snowy january btw) and it went alright, but aware that i have no marketing experience.
So they said they'd get in touch in 2 weeks, but 4 weeks had passed and no news...eeek!
I sent them a nice little email asking them for feedback etc so last week I had a missed call from them.

So this set the scene for this afternoon, I gave them a call but the person I had to speak to wasn't there, but third time lucky she was. BUT then this inpromptu phone interview began, totally unprepared!! oh shit was my exact thoughts.
It went ok, but jesus christ, how many interviews do I have to have to get a job, or even be rejected?! she was nice and should get back to me 'tres rapidement' so here I am again....waiting and waiting.

Please give me a job France, I love you and your language....haha, maybe that would work?
So fingers crossed now. I've got a french mate i can live with in Paris too, I've even been to the flat!

Whatever happens, happens for a reason.
This prolonged anxiety is killing me! (ok melodramatic, but it's annoying!)

Voila!!

Love: a big taboo?

Ok, so love...

We all think when we're younger, oh i'll fall in love, get married, have kids etc etc
But really when it gets down to it were all either too scared to take the plunge or too scared to actually proclaim it.

WHY??

Isn't that a difficult question. Not only that, but is it love, lust, or just a need of companionship?

I'm a great believer in living for the moment and taking life in your own hands because basically why not?
People come in and out of your life but maybe we should make the most of who/what we have. Love is a beautiful thing whether it is in the form of friendship (perhaps the best love we can have), family or a significant other.
What we need to realise is that we must live for now, for today, and tell those we love that we do because at the end of the day, we will regret not saying those three little words that mean the most in the world. Not fearing the 'what if's' or 'what if they don't feel the same', if that's the case, FUCK THEM and move on and upwards.

Love yourself. Love the people who surround you. Love life
Because i do!

Getting started

Ok, so I'm not a typical blogger or the craziest social networking freak but I've been kinda influenced to start some talking. Being honest though, I can really talk for england so beware!
I'm just gonna use this as a bit of a chat and reflection, I don't even know why but let the blogging commence i guess....